Clarity in Release

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Clarity in Release

Well, it’s Groundhog day, why not repeat a bit? This is my progression of emotion that swept over me tonight.

It’s been a long week for the community of people who follow Cobra’s blog. Awakening change has never been without challenge, but this week has been geopolitically polarizing, and energetically intense, despite Divine Support and progress made. It’s a good time to get out in nature if you can (It’s rather cold here, and I got stuck on the phone all afternoon, and have been working on the warmer days).  It’s a really good time for self-care practices and counting our blessings.  Shifting a paradigm does not come without growing pains, but this, too, shall pass. 😔  ~PB

the above was an intro to this:

Recent brief posts by Cobra | The Portal
https://foreverunlimited.wordpress.com/2018/02/02/recent-brief-posts-by-cobra-the-portal/

~~~

Phoenix Boulay
1 hr
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Inexplicable crying jags tonight…😓
Some of it angst, some of it release,and some of it joy and connection.
Tomorrow I will be laughing at my self for this…but for now,
I am just going with the flow~ 💧🌧️☔💧

~~~

A fb friend I really didn’t know too well sent a video of a young singer in a direct message. Her voice was incredible, so I thanked my friend, and this became an opening to know her better, where she confided that that I am “kind of a star here in Oklahoma”, where she lives.  Unbeknownst to me, she and her boyfriend enjoy my posts, read them daily and draw inspiration as they help young, confused, lost teens and kids who can’t relate to the strict Bible belt mentality they are immersed in. She says they are reaching kids more and more. I was truly floored. It brought tears to my eyes to learn that sharing the things that resonate with me, and my thoughts, really is helping many other people.

I had no idea I made a difference in anyone’s life, beyond my massage clients. I always do my best to understand, discover and treat the client to the best of my ability. I know sometimes with a new client, I really have no idea if I am helping them until they get off the table, transformed for the better. Even if they are not, I take solace in knowing I have done my best, with an open heart.

Considering the ultra-sensitive day I had, and spending the entire afternoon on the phone, sorting out my new health insurance enrollment, it was humbling to hear that my efforts are not in vain. In the process, I was lamenting the loss of my respected doctors/hospital affiliation that I’ve had for over a decade. But then of course, I had to count my blessings for the roof over my head, food to eat, and access to medical care if needed.  The doctor assigned as my new PCP is a woman, and in walking distance from home, so that’s a plus. While I was on the phone today, I missed a text from a client who wanted to come in. I would have been that much closer to making rent, so that was disappointing, but it turned out I really needed the whole afternoon into the evening, and a number of calls, to get things sorted out.

I am wondering if anyone else is feeling ultra-sensitive on this Friday night? Often I feel energy shifts and Full Moons early, so it could be coming for you. But this crying I had also seemed like I was dropping density, surrendering to things beyond my control, and making my peace with my circumstance, which, after all, I created.  I have not been allowing myself the rest I need, nor the time in nature I crave.  After some stretching and sleep, I should have the energy and fortitude to persevere, and continue my efforts to make positive changes for myself.

Oh, yeah, I read #TheMemo,  but it was not as scandalous as we had hoped for!



Still, it is great to be alive during this time of #TheGreatAwakening, to usher in that paradigm shift and witness Victory of the Light!

In Lakech

5 thoughts on “Clarity in Release

  1. Reblogged this on Blue Dragon Journal and commented:
    It’s always interesting to me that wayshowers, especially heartfelt ones like this author do not realize the impact they make on other people by simply being themselves. So much self-effacement, but the lack of ego is also refreshing. Blessings to all.

    • Thanks, Eliza. I am pretty sure, in retrospect, that the intense despair I was experiencing had less to do with my own life than with my Empathic ability, mainly because although I was a bit drained by being on the phone for hours, the despair came on suddenly, and as I said, was “inexplicable”, because there is nothing new or different going on in my life that would cause such a severe reaction. I don’t think it was all MY pain that I was feeling, but it did trigger some of my own pain and patterns that need release and adjustment. I found out today that a close friend in Europe also had a big, intense cry last night, after yet another court date regarding custody arrangements of her kids, in a complicated and challenging situation. So perhaps I picked up on her angst. I often never know who or why I am being effected, I only know that a small part of that was mine. I felt like I was grieving for a lot of people all at once, thus the cathartic release.

      I also don’t really see my reaction as self-effacement, because I just do my thing whether working my magic on the massage table or sharing posts that resonate. I get caught up in the process of what I am doing, so it is kind of a Zen, blissful, in the moment process. Her unexpected remark caught me completely by surprise, and was uplifting to hear, in light of my deep processing of emotions. Normally, despite struggling much of my life, I am able to make my peace with it and carry on, undaunted, although it can limit my social life a lot. Although I enjoy lots of alone time without feeling lonely, I am a party girl and adventurer at heart, and finances and cold weather have kept me home more than I care for. I found in my conversation with her that we were in many ways kindred spirits.

    • Oh, thanks, Michaela, that’s very kind. I don’t even get around to reading as many other blogs, even the ones I subscribe to, as much I’d like, as it takes a lot of time to do read, digest and post the things I do, to reach more people. I actually am feeling like I want and need to spend less time on line and more doing the other things I love, like being in nature, despite the cold, and continuing to strive to get back into a daily yoga practice, as I did for years. I need to move more and sit less. Hiss less, purr more. Need to get a cat too. If I can’t even commit to a cat I’ve wanted for over a decade, how am I going to commit to a relationship when the opportunity comes? I would like to write more, too, but I think that will come with time, and with simplification of my life, like cleaning out my ever-inundating email inboxes, clearing clutter and spending more time in silence. I did sleep well, and that’s always a good idea when feeling out of sorts.

      In Lakech

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