Charles Dickens said it, and I agree, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
After all the continued emails and conversations, I feel I need to re-acknowledge that yes, amidst all the insanity out there, all the young people dying of cancer, all the rapes in Europe, the (radioactive??) methane leak in L.A., Fukushima, the supposedly tanking global economy, all the long term relationships splitting up, and whatever else your news feed, neighbors or own life is stirring up … I can assure you that some truly wonderful, magical, long held dreams, and heartfelt desires are coming into being. All. Over. The. World. People I know, clients, friends, relatives … some real, live people are right this moment finding roads to authenticity and peace spread wide before them.
Tania Marie and I were discussing this polarity today — of extraordinarily amazing things happening while the rest of the world seems to fall apart — and we agree that one key factor is how someone deals with denial.
For people who’ve spent months, years or decades facing down their Shadows, inner demons, and the exasperating uncertainties of life, the world’s chaos keeps opening and aligning grand opportunities for healing, joy and liberation. To quote Nietzsche, “Remember, one must have chaos inside in order to birth a dancing star.” If that idea challenges you, then you might want to treat yourself to some remedial Joanna Macy.
Like it or not, denial continues to become more and more difficult to maintain.
I’ve watched without surprise as supposedly “perfect relationships” “broke up out of nowhere … people who’ve been together forever!” Only the rosiest glasses could have failed to read the writing on those couples’ walls, and yet … many bystanders find themselves reeling with shock right now. Relationship endings can disappoint and traumatize, but when a relationship requires one or both people to live a lie in order to maintain it, then the energies of our times no longer support that relationship.We live in awakening times. You can fight awakening and the responsibility it brings, but not without consequences.
For as many people grieving the loss of a relationship, I know at least as many people celebrating their liberation from co-dependence and/or abuse. The current energies support the desire and right to live in mutual respect. Current energies also support the courage to demand that respect and the means to leave situations in which others refuse to honor healthy and respectful boundaries.
This week, I’ve watched liberals all over Europe fall on metaphorical black ice as a (very predictable) misogynist situation decades in the making “suddenly” revealed itself in no uncertain terms on New Year’s Eve. I’ve watched some people come undone as they cannot comprehend the ramifications — too scary to contemplate — “if those rapes and assaults really did happen.”
My heart goes out to the hundreds or thousands of women and girls raped, assaulted and robbed by gangs of Muslim men on New Year’s Eve, as it goes out to entire countries who feel betrayed by their governments and their own naive hospitality. But my heart also goes out to these young Muslim men raised on hatred, misogyny, poverty and war. Regardless of heart strings — or maybe because of the strong pull on them right now — denial no longer remains an easy option.
Whether in Europe, or in the growing evacuation area of L.A., or in your own private turmoil, if you want support from the current energies, it’s time to look your fear in the face. Contrary to the saying, not all fear is “false evidence appearing real.” Sometimes fear comes as a valid warning of things way out of balance. Learning to discern real fear can help you to avoid unnecessary trauma. You don’t want to get swallowed or paralyzed by fear, but assessing the situation that triggered fear and then addressing that situation, opens possibilities for positive change and renewal. Refusing to assess and address fearful situations does not make them go away. It turns them into bigger Shadows, threats and manifested traumas until you learn to navigate the scary spots.
Read some faery tales. The real ones, not Disney. Real wisdom lies hidden in those stories from the Brothers Grimm and old folk tales. Happy endings don’t always occur, but when they do, they happen because the hero or heroine faced the fear, activated creativity, and managed to align with help from beyond. You can do that, too. Whatever fear or despair you face, whatever floor just dropped from underneath you, you can find a way to integrate that experience into a rich, authentic and ultimately more fulfilling life trajectory. Loss of innocence hurts, but it also heals.
If you’re one of those magical people experiencing all manner of blessings in life right now, don’t feel afraid to share your stories, triumphs and joy with others. People need to know of other possibilities. They need to know a phoenix can and does rise from its own funeral pyre. Don’t feel ashamed of your blessings. It’s OK to ask for help, but it’s also perfectly permissible — necessary even — to scatter pixie dust and radiate joy to a scared and grieving world.
Peace in, peace out.